An acquaintance of mine once labeled me a "Madden Junior," or as defined by the Facebook group so wittily titled "Summary of 99% of the people you will ever meet in college":
"This student's life revolves around sports. He can quote sports scores, character stats, and just about anything from some obscure game last week. Not only did he watch it, he studied it while his classmates were studying for that quiz he failed. He usually arrives in class approximately 10 minutes late wearing his favorite sports team hat and jacket, only to talk about sports for the entire class. Interestingly, the Madden Jr. rarely, if ever, has any athletic ability of his own, and is often obese due to a diet consisting entirely of nachos."
Though it's not the most flattering of descriptions, I can confidently state that "Madden Junior" accurately describes my character, albeit with some obvious flaws (I mean, c'mon, I am an absolute beast on the basketball court, I hate nachos, and I don't own either a hat or jacket of my favorite team). I actually can quote sports scores and stats with ease. I subconsciously memorize obscure details (I can tell you any player in the NBA's jersey number within seconds). I can even tell you the average number of soiled pants following any of Dwight Howard's dunks.
Apparently, I'm a junior version of this guy. Great, huh?
However, I understand that this receiving this character analysis isn't supposed to be a compliment. The classic stereotype of the sports geek is the fat uncle stuck to the couch eating a Philly Cheesesteak while screaming at a televised Brett Favre in his ambiguously stained jersey, especially around the armpits. The social world (y'know...Facebook) would rather you obsess over politics, arts, science, history, sex and even drugs, but please, anything but sports. I mean, after all, it is just a bunch of dumbasses throwing around a ball. "Please, get a life."
I would get a life, honestly. But then you must tell the same insult to Thomas Friedman, to Ebert & Roeper, to Howard Zinn, to Bill Nye the Science Guy because they too devote their lives to something they love. So, please, go ahead.
I have witnessed too many moments in sports that have inspired more masses than any election-year Congressional vote, any historic independent movie, or any breakthrough in evolution to simply allow the sports world to be reserved for us "Madden Juniors." I've read that the Celtic-Rangers rivalry induces more fear than the Cold War USA-Russia. I've learned that cricket's bodyline bowling was more a result of differences in political will than in game plan. I've seen that one football game can create massive riots in downtown Manhattan. I've watched the German soccer team play like Germans and the Brazilian soccer team play like Brazilians. I've visited the nytimes.com, only to see Roger Clemens "misremembering" face multiple headlines above the latest UN report of the Sudan. I've had fellow sports enthusiasts base their political values on baseball loyalties. I've heard about towns in Kansas where football is virtually the only reason for living. I've taken a glimpse at the sorrow in Englishmen's eyes when their football team cannot make a tournament (and it was bloody terrifying). I've found out that the free agency wasn't always free. I've been on the other end of a war when the Iraqis found hope in their soccer team, and also when they lost it. Hell, I've even forced this Hsu to fit.
So to other Madden Juniors who may read this blog, and to the other 98% of the people you will meet in college (especially the "Babbling Idiots"), be whoever the hell you are, even if that means eating greasy nachos and arriving to class late in a Yankees cap. Some study biological science, others commit to public policy, a few master in Norwegian folk music, and us Madden Juniors love something that just isn't a ball being tossed.
Besides, at the end of the day, they're the ones reading this shit on Facebook.
-K.H.
1 comment:
You write very well.
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