Brett Favre pretends like he's actually retiring this time

Packers quarterback and Manly Man Brett Favre finally announced his retirement earlier today after 17 years as the face of the historic franchise, the bored city of Green Bay, the entire state of Wisconsin, and the football in general.


Brett Favre is the reason Jesus was born in Green Bay.

I was one year old when he was drafted by the Falcons (as Brett "Fav-row") and two when he started his legendary career with the Packers. So it really is extremely difficult to imagine anyone else under center for the Packers, throwing long bombs in that Lambeau snow which perfectly camouflaged Favre's graying beard. The man owns some of the most impressive records in all of sports (seriously, 253 consecutive starts? I can't even think of a witty joke to follow that).

My best memory of Favre was one of his famed Monday Night Football performances a few years ago against the Raiders, in which he passed for 400 yards and four touchdowns only hours after his father had passed away. I specifically remember him throwing an insanely accurate deep ball to one of his many receivers in double coverage, probably one of the most godly plays I've seen in football. I also remember not being surprised because, after all, it's Brett Favre. Millions of people hate Michael Vick, even more despise Tom Brady, but there aren't many that really dislike Favre. With that humble Southern drawl, fatherly looks, and BAMF swagger, there's not much to hate. Oh yeah, and he's got three MVP awards, biotch.

Anyways, this is starting to sound like a eulogy. I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot more of Favre as a disappointingly awkward analyst on ESPN or Fox Sports, but until then, I'll remember him as easily the best quarterback of my generation. Thanks for the memories, Brett. Maybe now you'll have some time to reconsider the spelling of your name.

-K.H.