Report: The Patriots are still crying

Former Patriots cornerback Asante Samuel seemed pretty rushed to get out the hell out of New England, agreeing a six-year contract with the Eagles with the free agency market open for about six seconds. Though I'm sure the deal ultimately came down to the money, Samuel's swift foot to the signing table does tell you a lot about the Patriots' catastrophic downfall. Though I do think that he's a bit overrated, Samuel was a central part of their defense who managed to have a great season despite early insistence on holding out. Now, he's gone, veteran linebacker Roosevelt Colvin is gone, and their best offensive weapon (including Brady) Randy Moss isn't so sure on joining the team. Who's next?! Matt Gutierrez?! Even linebacker Zach Thomas was sure on rejecting an offer to join undoubtedly the league's best roster last season.


Undercover Patriot Asante Samuel preparing to infiltrate Eagles practices.

Add all this what-have-you-done-for-me-lately drama to the incredibly shady Spygate controversy (which is still being blackballed by Commissioner Goodell as I type), and you've got yourself a sad, pitiful tragic hero. Now, even with a demoralized squad and less star power, Bill Belichick* is burdened with the "2nd times a charm" expectations of those always optimistic Boston fans. But at least he's still got Troy Brown!

-K.H.

*This marks the first time I've spelled "Belichick" correctly on a first try.