Andy Roddick - 1, Me - 0

I'm going to be honest: I love swimsuit models. I really do. But what don't I love? When pretty boy tennis players who somehow manage to look charming in sweat-drenched Lacoste polos decide to marry those swimsuit models.

So, where is this hate coming from? Well, America's tennis spokesman Andy Roddick has reported on his website that he is now engaged to masturbatory muse Brooklyn Decker. Decker, 20, is known for her scantily clothed poses in Sports Illustrated's latest Swimsuit Edition and, of course, for her great personality.


"Note to self: keep playing tennis."

Especially when guys like George Clooney are dating sorority girls, you've got to despise Roddick, who wrote that "I have to admit all the attention in a bit surprising. We have been laughing at some of the stuff we have seen. Supposedly she is pregnant and I didn’t bother to tell my friends and family about the engagement… ha ha… I mean really?" When announcing that you impregnated a supermodel is followed by the words "ha ha," you know you live the life.

Report: Andy Roddick has just increased his position on the national list of "Assholes who lie better lives than mine," just two spots ahead of Jessica Alba's puppy.

- K.H. (Still single, swimsuit models)