Tiki Barber released by Seahawks

Tiki Barber clone and former NFL MVP Shaun Alexander was released by the Seahawks today, not a surprising move considering the franchise had recently signed former Cowboy Julius Jones and the tub of muscle known as T.J. Duckett. The onlyambiguously gay Seahawk, Alexander has been pretty disappointing since his record-setting season three years ago, which I'm assuming is also the reason Matt Hasselbeck has pulled out all of his hair in frustration.


Alexander "released" only moments after this photo was taken
You've gotta feel bad for Seattle sports fans. The Seahawks always tease the city with pretty impressive performances, yet consistently manage to choke when it matters the most. The Sonics are Oklahoma bound and the Mariners have been pretty disappointing. Well, at least they're about to become home to the MLS's worst soccer team, a title only slightly better than the U-12 girl's AYSO champions.

But anyways, farewell, Shaun Alexander, thanks for being the NFL's worst ever MVP. Have fun preaching celibacy to your new teammates!

- K.H. (Hair For Hasselbecks club president)