Alexi Lalas thinks David Beckham is better than you, and you, and you...

General manager Alexi Lalas, the ginger kid responsible for David Beckham's $250 million immigration to Los Angeles, has been the face of the Major League Soccer administration for the past few years. But even with arguably the world's most popular athlete, the MLS hasn't necessarily been headlining any ESPN broadcasts lately, so you would think Lalas would at least be a tad bit modest about his career as a general manager. If Lalas really did want more Americans tuning into those extremely exciting Galaxy matches, you would assume he would promote the MLS and its athletes politely to potential fans.

Apparently, Mr. Lalas doesn't like being polite. In an interview last week with humble hosts Steve and Nick of Fox Football Fone-In (which, sadly, is probably the most popular soccer show in America), the Galaxy manager explained that Becks was "too big" for the show and for the American soccer community in general. Ouch.


After an intimate night with Beckham, Lalas reasoned that he was indeed "big enough."

His explicitly offensive response was prompted by Steve and Nick's complaint that the Englishman refused to appear on their show along with an L.A. Times article that derided Beckham's celebrity. T.J. Simers, author of the article, explained the futility of trying to contact the soccer star who has scored a whopping one goal for his team:

Talk to Galaxy GM Alexi Lalas and he sounds as if Beckham's work is already done here, proclaiming Beckham "is at an entirely different level" than Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan.Beckham might be Leiweke's "favorite athlete," as he says, but he dismisses Lalas' remarks by noting Beckham "isn't even as big as Kobe Bryant."
I thought he was brought to L.A. to put soccer on the U.S. map and make MLS or MSL or whatever they call the soccer league that ranks here right up there with the Arena league into something more meaningful.
Beckham is not a goal-scorer, and apparently not much of a talker, making him a strange choice to be a pitchman in this country. Kwame Brown delivered more than Beckham last year. -Simers, L.A. Times

As a member of that American soccer community that he felt so free to condemn as unworthy of the god known as David Beckham, Lalas' comments disturb me as much as the screaming Irishman Kenny on the World Soccer Daily Podcast, who asked "After spending the day with Snoop Dogg, Beckham has no time to call the show when he's out stuck on the 405?" It's pundits like Lalas and disappointments like Beckham that keep the beautiful game below Arena Football here in the States. And they wonder why us Yankees can't compete in the World Cup.

It's difficult not to feel bad for the Fox Soccer Channel, Lalas abusively berated the only channel (that is barely on air) willing to show some MLS matches, claiming it wasn't "big enough" for the only hope the league has. This phrase "big enough" is ironic and slightly amusing because Lalas, whose only shining moment is wasting $250 million dollars on a metrosexual geezer, is not "big enough" to even be a footnote on Sky Sports News. This asshole thought he was "big enough" to declare that Beckham could be bigger than Pele. But, American soccer fans, should we really intimidated by a guy whose name is Alexi?

So seriously, somebody please give this man an Eric Cantona karate kick to the face before the soccer community finally becomes "big enough."

-K.H.