I was doing some preliminary research on a post I was about to write about how thug-turned-USC star O.J. Mayo is actually the reincarnation of USC star-turned-thug O.J. Simpson. However, I stumbled upon some unsettling information on Wikipedia (a college student's best friend): apparently, Mayo scored a 29 on the ACT, placing him in the 95th percentile of all students taking the test, thereby contradicting the very title of this blog.
O.J. Mayo: Dumb Jock?
At first, I assumed it was some wikinerd in Los Angeles likening his idol's intelligence to that of Etan Thomas. But after some further investigation, I found that Mayo's incredible ACT score is in fact true. For any late teenager who spent several miserable months devoting himself to SAT practice and application essays, it's difficult enough to witness basketball's newest asshole accept himself into a great school. But when that slam-dunking, cotton-headed ninny muggins also beat you in the only thing you had going for yourself (your test scores), well then, there's not much to look forward to in this life. Thus, you resort to writing in a amateur blog and smoking crack cocaine.
And, as we all realize at some point in our life, the dumb jock wins again. Boogers.
Lately, I've been leaning towards UCLA in that everimportant crosstown rivalry back home (Breaking News: I just lost half of my readers). And honestly, I'm not really sure why. Maybe it's because Westwood is one of my more liked spots in LA, or maybe it's because I always love the underdog and USC athletics isn't one of the most humble programs in the nation.
However, though the Bruins look bound for a No. 1 seed in this year's tournament, the team's past two victories (against Stanford and Cal) have made me question my newfound loyalty. Yes, Kevin Love is exceeding high expectations, Darren Collison and Russell Westbrook are combining for one of nation's best backcourts, Luc Richard Mbah a Moute makes memorizing how to spell his name worth the effort.
But really, an overtime win at home against an overrated Stanford squad? Correction: an overtime win that should never have even gone into overtime. You should be disappointed in yourself; John Wooden is turning his grave as we speak. 2nd Correction: John Wooden is actually turning in his...bed...alive and...very healthy. Well, this is awkward.
This, kids, is a great example of the non-contact foul.
And then, earlier today, you barely sneak out a win against the pot-smoking hippies of Berkeley (why do we call them "Cal" anyways?) led by his whiteness Ryan Anderson? Really? Not only did you win by 1 point, but you had to blind the referees with mace and summon the soul of Lew Alcindor just so Josh Shipp could make the most improbable game-winner of all time? Well, at least those cheerleaders were especially attractive tonight ("Psst...Wooden's not looking!")
