Dwyane Wade enjoys old, botoxed "friends"

So rumor has it that virtually retired NBA star Dwyane Wade is dating the monster known as Star Jones. Yeah, that Star Jones (I don't know what other Star Jones you were thinking of), the big woman with the fat that disappeared overnight. Though Wade claims that the two are just "friends," they've been spotted together at a few events and D-Wade seems to get noticeably awkward whenever his pal Charles Barkley brings it up. Recent reports claim that Wade has finally removed Barkley from his "five."


Stayne Jades?

I'm not big into celebrity gossip, but this is too hilarious to pass up. Although I'm sure that Wade and Jones are indeed just "friends," you gotta feel bad for Miami's soon-to-be has-been. Only two seasons after winning his first championship, he leads the Heat to the league's worst record while losing his supposed best friend in the process. And now, he's rumored to be dating Star Jones, who ironically enough was once mistaken for Shaquille O'Neal.

But, like they say, "fall down seven, stand up eight" Unfortunately, Star really just needs some help standing up.

- K.H. (Not in Dwyane Wade's five)

Dallas weather forecast: Rain

Stipper beater and talented cornerback Pacman Jones will be "making it rain" in Dallas after the Titans traded the troubled athlete to the Cowboys for a fourth-round draft pick. Jones, who has been public about his desire to play for the Big D, is living proof for children that you can have whatever you want in life, even if that means paralyzing an innocent man in Las Vegas. While being suspended by the NFL, Pacman has spent his time well: taking up new a new hobby in wrestling and promoting quality music.


He loves prison!

Good luck Pacman. We're all sure that you and Terrell Owens will be the most well-rounded, morally fulfilled tandem in the league. Now let's go make it rain on dem hoes!

- K.H. (Does not know any hoes)