Report: Marvin Harrison is indeed a wide receiver in the NFL

According to ESPN, Colts receiver and the NFL's only "nice guy" Marvin Harrison was involved in a shooting outside his bar in North Philadelphia earlier this week. Supposedly, the perennial Pro-Bowler got into an argument with one of his patrons before the man left in his car, where he was then shot in the hand. Reports claim that the weapon fired, registered under Harrison's name, was a "custom, Belgian hand gun that shoots .50 caliber bullets." That's almost as bad as Maurice Clarett's AK-47 under the passenger seat.


This is the best off-field action shot of Harrison I could find.

To any football fan not living under rock for the past decade, this whole thing is really weird. I'm legitimately shocked by the fact that a) Marvin Harrison is possibly involved in a crime, b) Marvin Harrison is from the ghettoes of North Philadelphia, c) Marvin Harrison owns a bar, d) Marvin Harrison owns a gun, d) I'm writing a post about the most boring athlete in NFL history. Honestly, I envisioned Harrison spending his free time playing chess, perfecting his moustache, or something else that's more boring than playing in Indianapolis for 12 years.

But, since this is the NFL, where receivers are only signed with a three-crime minimum, I guess I'm not that surprised. I mean, as long as Peyton isn't caught with hookers or anything.

- K.H. (Really hopes he doesn't regret that last sentence)

Dallas weather forecast: Rain

Stipper beater and talented cornerback Pacman Jones will be "making it rain" in Dallas after the Titans traded the troubled athlete to the Cowboys for a fourth-round draft pick. Jones, who has been public about his desire to play for the Big D, is living proof for children that you can have whatever you want in life, even if that means paralyzing an innocent man in Las Vegas. While being suspended by the NFL, Pacman has spent his time well: taking up new a new hobby in wrestling and promoting quality music.


He loves prison!

Good luck Pacman. We're all sure that you and Terrell Owens will be the most well-rounded, morally fulfilled tandem in the league. Now let's go make it rain on dem hoes!

- K.H. (Does not know any hoes)