Joey Dorsey is a shady guy

According to SI.com, Memphis forward and NBA hopeful Joey Dorsey isn't too high on his teammates. In an interview at the NBA pre-draft camp, Dorsey explained that he "knew" that fellow Tiger Derrick Rose wouldn't be selected first overall by the Bulls.


Do not underestimate this man's knowledge

"They're going to take Beasley. I've got the inside," insisted Dorsey, "They're going to take Beasley. I won't tell you how I know. You'll see June 26. I can't say any more." Dorsey then handed the reporter a stack of $100 dollar bills and a bag of cocaine before scurrying off in his trench coat.

It must be sort of disheartening for Rose to hear his teammate declare that he won't be playing in his native Chicago. The Bulls are denying any knowledge of telling Dorsey anything about the draft, but in a league that hired the infamous Tim Donaghy, any shady business possible.

UPDATE: Joey Dorsey just "joshin' around."

- K.H. (Does not have the inside)

Darren McFadden's mom hates me

According to the LA Times, the mother of prolific Arkansas running back / street thug Darren McFadden doesn't like New York City, which is apparently "too big" for her. Why does this matter? Well the Jets are one of the primary candidates to draft McFadden on Saturday, and earlier today, the Arkansas native told fans at the Draft Preview (myself included) that he would "love to play in New York."


Her baby is just too cultured and intelligent for New York.

The other likely future home for "Run DMc"? The Oakland Raiders, who select only two picks before the Jets. But too bad, Mama McFad doesn't like California either. The state is also "too big" for her baby.

She supposedly would rather have the running back play in the cultural hotspots surrounding "the Atlanta Falcons, Dallas Cowboys, whatever team they've got there in Tennessee." Unfortunately, the Oilers already have Lendale White, who is also "too big."

I live in New York now and am about to return home in California. So, though I'm a big believer of "D-Mac," I guess Mother McFadden and me wouldn't really see eye-to-eye in terms of our lists of "places I would like to live." However, I wouldn't mind taking a trip to whatever city they they've got there in Tennessee.

But until we meet Mrs. McFaddy, welcome to New York, where nobody knows where the hell Little Rock, Arkansas is.

- K.H. (Is also too big)

Michael Beasley does not take Michael Beasley seriously

Last week, Kansas State superstar Michael Beasley, 19 (approximately 4 years old mentally), entered his name in the 2008 NBA Draft. However, the likely No. 1 pick, an admitted Sponge Bob Squarepants fanatic, seemed a little too comfortable declaring his eligibility. Beasley whispered sweet nothings into coach Frank Martin's ears just moments before bursting into laughter while he (in)formally announced his intentions.



For conventional standards, this isn't really the best way to begin the recruiting season. Beasley has been notorious for being more of a punk than an athlete (he once Sharpied his autograph on his high school principal's car in a competition taken way too far). Even though Beasley-advocates claim he's "grown," I can't really picture Manhattan, Kansas to be the most culturally enriching places on Earth.

So good job, Michael Beasley, for assuring NBA scouts that think you're an asshole that you are indeed an asshole. Just another day in the NBA.

- K.H. (Be Easy)

Chad Ford's NBA mock draft is for nerds

Chad Ford and a group of geeky web interns created this year's NBA interactive lottery mock draft, which simulates an arbitrary order of lottery teams and predicts each team's ultimate draft choice at each selection. Yes, all 2,184 combinations are possible. Even if you're not a basketball fan, it's fun just clicking "Play Lottery" every time and seeing how often you can get Derrick Rose as the first pick.


Chad Ford cares about these two men. Do you?

I'm not really sure why I like this interactiveness so much. Maybe because I'm a nerd, maybe because I enjoy imagining Michael Beasley playing alongside Dwyane Wade, or maybe because this is the first year in a while I don't have to keep on clicking to see how often the Celtics can get the first pick.

-K.H.