In defense of Paul Pierce

Although I've lived in LA my entire life, I've been a Celtics fan for eight long years and I've always considered Paul Pierce my favorite player. However, he has come close to being replaced during these playoffs mainly because he's guilty of what I consider a mortal sin in sports: flopping. Yes, I will admit it, during these playoffs, Pierce has flopped, he's flailed, he's even done the Vlade every now and then.

And yes, I do agree that the whole "popped"-knee-wheelchaired-off-come-back-with-Rocky-music-playing was unnecessarily dramatic. I agree that he probably didn't need to be carried off (well at least Brian Scalabrine did something) like a pregnant woman in labor. And I agree that his knee probably wasn't and isn't that sprained, if it is at all. And by the looks of it, so does Pierce.


"Ten years in hell and I get this?! Why, Brian, why?!"

But I do not agree that "The Truth" is a a) bitch, b) crybaby, c) pussy, d) baby, e) any other derogatory term that isn't exactly flattering. Trust me, living in LA, I've heard all of them.

Because throughout the past eight years, Pierce endured playing with starting lineups that included the likes of Raef LaFrentz and Jiri Welsh. He endured six years tag teaming with the NBA's worst crybaby Antoine Walker. He endured four coaches, none of them very good. He endured the infamous season last year, in which they did not even land either Kevin Durant or Greg Oden (thank god).

Hell, the guy even got stabbed eleven times once. ELEVEN TIMES!

...IN THE FACE!

So, basically, he endured a lot of stuff that would've forced a lot more than one trade demand from Kobe, who told his fans he had to leave after one bad season.

And how many times did Pierce publicly announce a desire to be traded from the hellhole of Boston? Well, if he has at all, I don't remember it at all.

This is not about his comparison to Kobe (I know what Kobe has that Pierce doesn't). Yes, ten years in purgatory doesn't justify an over dramatic scene that should never have happened.

But in the Finals, especially during most intense season of my lifetime, we all get a little hypnotized by the drama. Flailing our arms just a little more, falling a little louder on the hardwood, screaming a little more often.

Lebron did it. Rip did it. Ronny Turiaf has been doing it all season. I mean, this is the NBA, where even Robert Horry is still creating drama.

And Pierce is no different. And neither is everyone around him. I'm certain the Celtics superstar didn't tell the trainers "I need to be carried off and I need a wheel chair NOW!" With the entire nation gasping (or cheering) once he fell awkwardly, the rest of the series of events happened inevitably.

Pierce falls, he looks like he is pain, he gets wheelchaired off, he realizes that it's not as bad as it felt in front of millions of viewers, he returns to the court a la Willis Reed, he drains two threes in a row, Celtics win, David Stern sleeps easily.

Like all the drama in the world, it just sorta happened. And the spectators are as much to blame as Pierce because at the end of such an incredible season, we (Pierce included) don't want anything to come easy. Especially a championship.

And again, the guy got stabbed eleven times!

- K.H. (Never thought he would ever type the name Jiri Welsh again)

Someone forgot to tell bald man that the ABA doesn't exist

Matt Mosley of Hashmarks reports that DumbJock favorite and Seahawks quarterback Matt Hasselbeck has declared his predictions for this year's epic NBA Finals.


...in 1936

"I'm making a prediction," Hasselbeck told reporters after practice today. "I'm thinking Celtics in three. That's how good they are. They're so much better than the Lakers."

Aww, how cute! The bald man still thinks this is a five game series! "The Celtics in three!" This is almost as classic as when Vinny Testaverde picked the Spurs in 13!

In a eerily familiar scene, the disillusioned Hasselbeck added, "Garnett is going to get the ball and he's gonna score!" The Seahawks quarterback then took out his dentures, put down his cane, and proceeded to watch The Price is Right.

- K.H. (START SENECA!!!)

Sasha Vujacic does not care about your money

CNBC's Darren Rovell reports that Lakers guard Jason Schwartzman, ahem, Sasha Vujacic just might have cost sports bettors a total of $100 million. In an celebratory asshole move, Vujacic shot a completely unnecessary three-pointer in the final seconds of Game Five of the Western Conference Finals against the Spurs:

"While Vujacic’s taking of the shot was a joke in the Lakers locker room, it turns out it was hardly a laughing matter for people that had bet on the Spurs to cover the spread. The line opened with the Lakers being eight-point favorites, but quickly moved to 7.5 points, meaning that Vujacic’s heave either cost people money (who bet on the Spurs) or turned their winning bet into a push."


Sasha wants to screw you over

Fortunately, this still means the Spurs are out of the Playoffs. Though it also means at least four more games of watching the biggest European dumbass in California (aside from the Governator of course).

But I guess when your name is Sasha and you wear a snapped condom on your head, even Kobe thinks your an asshole.

- K.H. (That doesn't include you, Sasha Baron Cohen)

Kobe mistakes old lady for Sasha Vujacic

There are plenty of conspiracy theories being thrown around concerning the extremely disturbing material found in this video. Hopefully, this doesn't hinder the Lakers' amazing season. Just please, God, please just don't hurt Andrew Bynum, I'm begging you.
My theory? Well, I think that Kobe's accuser from his notorious rape trial in Colorado is still lurking around the Lakers' territory, trying desperately to salvage her one shot at fame. However, Kobe managed literally masked her final chance to be seen on national television. That's clutch.

- K.H.